Donald Trump, the impossibly coiffed real
estate mogul, reality TV star and de facto leader of the "birther" movement,
made his "big announcement" about President Barack Obama on Wednesday,
saying he would give $5 million to a charity of Obama's choice in exchange for
the release of the commander in chief's college records and passport
application.
"Barack Obama is the least transparent
president in the history of this country," Trump said in a video shot from his
New York office and uploaded to YouTube. "I'm very honored to have gotten him to
release his long-form birth certificate or whatever it may be."
"I have a deal for the president," Trump
continued. "If Barack Obama opens up and gives his college records and
applications and if he gives his passport applications and records I will give
to a charity of his choice—inner-city children in Chicago, American Cancer
Society, AIDS research, anything he wants—a check immediately for $5
million."
The professional carnival barker also
issued an accompanying press release on his Facebook page.
The announcement was immediately mocked on
Twitter.
"Our expectations about @realDonaldTrump's
Obama announcement were clearly not low enough," New York Magazine said on
its Twitter feed.
"BREAKING: Donald Trump demands to know
what medical school Dr. Dre went to," @BScalabrine24 wrote on Twitter.
"Trump will give $5 million if Obama
releases his college records," Twitter user @WatchJ tweeted. "I'll give a crackhead $3 if Trump releases that
squirrel sittin on his head."
"BREAKING: Donald Trump replaces bed bugs as Americas #1 Pest," Lizz Winstead tweeted.
"We're going to make a very important cat announcement shortly that will change the internet," BuzzFeed declared.
"Sorry Trump, but in the same way the U.S. doesn't negotiate with terrorists, presidents shouldn't negotiate with idiots," @the_moonface wrote.
"This Donald Trump character is Andy Kaufman's greatest bit ever," Aaron Blitzstein tweeted.
"Donald Trump is the Honey Boo Boo of rich people," the fake Morgan Freeman said.
"Trump, would you be a dear and offer 5 million dollars if Romney will reveal ANY PART of his economic plan?" Alex Baze wrote on Twitter.
The Onion tweeted: "'I'm a sad, pathetic human being and a complete waste of life.' — Donald Trump."
In an interview with "Fox & Friends" on Monday, Trump said,
"I have something very, very big concerning the president of the United States.
I will be announcing it sometime probably Wednesday and it's going to be very
big."
"Will it change the election?" co-host
Gretchen Carlson asked Trump. "Possibly," Trump replied. "It's very big—bigger
than anybody would know."
Following Trump's titillating tease, there
was some
speculation that he would unveil divorce papers that Michelle Obama had
allegedly drawn up more than a decade ago. Others thought the "Celebrity
Apprentice" host had proof of the president's rumored cocaine use during
college.
In August, Trump was supposed to deliver a
"big surprise" at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Fla., but
Hurricane Isaac forced the GOP to cut his appearance from the truncated
schedule. The "big surprise"? A video featuring an Obama impersonator who Trump predictably
fired.
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